My son apparently stood on his own for about 8 seconds today.
There’s feels to be a million small things in my life all slowly changing for the better.
I don’t think this is the case, but that doesn’t matter in the slightest, because that’s how it feels and the feeling can make it happen.
There are so many things I’ve ignored getting on top of that now I see in front of me and ready to get done with.
It reminds me of this dreadful depression I had around 19. I was so curious at the time what rational argument (for I was a rational man) would get me out of the utter meaninglessness of it all.
And nothing did. I just felt in a better mood one day. Then I acted on that and did fun things. Then I couldn’t understand why I was so hung up on meaninglessness, when there’s meaning in so many things.
I got blue again after that, but I always then knew that it was likely just a mood and I shouldn’t engage with it, but let it do its thing.
That was an aside and a half.
Anyways, the to do list is getting longer as I’m organizing what needs to get done and is also getting shorter because we’re doing what needs to get done.
This weekend however will be all about his first birthday.
It’s cliched to say or think about, but thinking about the joy of birthdays as a kid and the fulfillment I think of trying to create that joy for my son puts me in this lovely circle of life feeling.
May all go well for a while and may the mind be a positive beast of action.
Klingsor's First Winter 