Stress

I’ve been stressed recently.

I’m not now. I’m watching a Ghibli blu ray and soaking up the atmosphere. I should be running, but an accordion is playing and it’s 1964 before the Olympics, and there’s this sense of hope for the future in Japan. (I lament the loss of hope in Japan.)

My wife has concerns about our son’s development. There’s likely no issue (you never know for sure), but she needs to release that anxiety somewhere.

Then at work, as HR, people are kind enough to share with me their anxieties, and sometimes people need to show their hidden ugly selves to HR. So I take that all in.

Sometimes it’s too much. Sometimes I want to share my mess of anxieties with someone. However, it’s not the time to tell my wife, she has enough on her plate, and that’s not what HR does (if sober). So today I had a little “woe is me” moment. “Woe is me” moments are silly, but you forget that.

Tonight I played some Fire Emblem. I watched some Ghibli. (I have showered since starting this composition, hence the tense change.)

Now I am beside my son who sleeps peacefully. I remember what it’s all for.

I would love more situations where I don’t have to be the stoic adult and can just fuck shit up, but not just now.