Driving

In British Columbia, where I’m from, you are able to get a license from age 16. Most of my friends did, but I never did.

Around 17 or 18, I did get a Learner’s Permit, but I had a huge mental block about driving. Like with other things (that were equally silly), I thought it was too late for me, and the buses and SkyTrains were good anyways, and hey, maybe something about the environment too? I never got my license, and then at 21 I moved to Japan, where the trains were even better.

However, in my first marriage when I lived in Chiba, I constantly relied on my wife to drive us everywhere. I just took this for granted. Sometimes she got frustrated about it, and I was sorry, but it’s not like I could afford going to driving school, or that an English one was nearby. If I was better with money I could have though. When I look back at my mistakes in this marriage, not having a license was definitely one of them.

However, despite it not really being on my mind for most of the duration of our marriage, once we separated, one of the first things I did was spend a lot of money to get a Japanese driver’s license. I was comfortable enough to do it in Japanese this time, and I even did it so I could drive manual transmission (do we say standard? I’m never sure). The driving part at the driving school was easy, which is another story for sure, and the driving test at the driving center I failed 3 times I believe. I refused to take it in English, because I’m stubborn like that sometimes. I suppose this is also another story.

After that, I drove around a few times in the first year. I even used the highway once! However, I then became a paper driver for 5 or 6 years. If that’s a Japanese expression, it means that I had a license to drive, but I did not feel confident or that I had the actual ability to do so.

Once my wife was pregnant, we decided that it would be good to have a car. I decided to practice driving with my brother-in-law, and sometimes alone. I panicked quite a bit driving alone, as sometimes I just didn’t know what I was supposed to do, and was worried that I was being a nuisance to those around me.

The most stressful part was my small driveway on my small road. The road is three meters wide. To open my door in the driveway, I need to be about 15cm from the left side of the driveway. Furthermore, there is a telephone pole just ahead of the left side of the driveway, meaning I need to come in at an angle.

I went online and found a guy. I paid him 15,000 yen, and we drove around my block five or six times and went over how to best park.

The reason I took this step is because when I winged getting out of my parking spot with a car share car, I scraped the side of my house. I was so focused on not hitting the pole, I didn’t notice I hit my house on the other side, and when I did, I panicked more and kept driving a little. The guy told me how silly and stupid this all was, and was very convincing about this.

I now have specific ways I get in and out of my driveway. Getting in sometimes is still hard, because it feels like I’m driving diagonally into the wall, and my car beeps away. It works though.

The actual thing I wanted to bring up, or perhaps complain about and say woe is me a little about, is that our new car arrived a week before my wife went into labor. I was still super nervous about driving, but there really wasn’t any time for that. We drove to the hospital. I stayed as late as I could. I drove home on dark unfamiliar roads. I did it again. My wife moved to a different hospital. The drive became an hour each way. I sometimes took the train, and I sometimes drove.

I had expected I would get used to driving with my wife in the car, and us doing fun little short drives. However, I got used to it with the great uncertainty of what was happening with my wife instead.

One incredibly silly part of me had a huge mental block on getting gas for the first time. I had never gotten gas, and the idea for whatever reason frightened me. In the end, I called a local friend, and we got gas together. I made a million mistakes doing it, but someone was there, so it was fine. Now I can get gas a million times and will never have any mental block about it.

So now I can drive, after not being able to drive really for the last 25 years. Better late than never. I got over all those weird mental obstacles in my head. I still have a few regarding driving though really. I need to drive on the highway again. I always rely on my navi for everything. Parking close to cars makes me a little nervous. However, I will get over all these silly things, as I have gotten over past silly things.

And compared to my wife’s health and the birth of my son, none of it seems that important really

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