One day at a time

We’re taking it one day at a time.

My wife is getting better, but things can always get worse again.

Things getting better doesn’t mean everything is getting better, or everything will get better enough to come home anytime soon. We don’t know.

However, things are getting better.

With such uncertainty, the normalcy created is a one day at a time normalcy.

My favorite part of the day is seeing my wife. When we text back and forth, I don’t ask her for updates on her health or all these things, but keep the conversation about lighter things. When we meet, we can discuss all those details face to face as we hold hands and enjoy each other’s company.

I’ve went back to work, and that keeps my mind out of negative thoughts, which is great, and also people have been very kind to me. At first I was worried about having lots of questions about if my wife is okay, and while that is kind of the people, it is tiring to have to say something. The trick is to just from the very beginning give people no need to worry.

“My wife needs to be in the hospital a little while longer, and so I’ll work in the meantime. Nothing to worry about.”

Finished. This sort of thing happens all the time.

When you’re less emotionally invested, it’s easy to think that, and when hindsight proves you right, you can subconsciously go “just as I thought”. Nice and neat.

And when things didn’t happen as you planned, and something unfortunate happens, you can go “oh wow, I really didn’t expect that”. Then you can continue about your day, and maybe even add a minute or two of solemn reflection on life.

I am emotionally invested though, and so I need to take things one day at a time, and enjoy the time with my wife

As we take it one day at a time, we wait for the doctors to be able to say “we think you’ll be able to go home at this time.”

We no longer ask though, because if things are unsure, what can they really say? “We need to wait and see”. We are currently waiting and seeing. We understand this.

I can’t see my son so much, but my wife goes to him 5 or 6 times a day for an hour long each time. They are forming a great bond. She also gets to sleep a full night each night, which is lucky. Things aren’t all bad.

Hoping for the best.

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To end on a tangent, and something more infused with the pure kindness of people: while many people in my office congratulated me on the birth of my son (and on my haircut, I have cut off 30cm of hair), one colleague felt is absolutely necessary that he shake my hand, and he had the most pure happy smile on his face when he did it. He was just so incredibly happy for me. I could be jealous at how nice of a person he is.