We live in a society that misuses words until they have no meaning. I think this is a primarily American trait, but I could be wrong, and that is neither here nor there in the point I am trying to make.
I think divorce when used figuratively is usually not given its full weight. As a man who has gone through the practice of divorce, I will give my take on what it should mean figuratively and apply it to America as one who is not American.
Divorce is not merely separating, and dividing up what is mine and yours. That’s a high school break up or something, where you lose your favorite hat because she says she doesn’t have it, but you know she does, but her new boyfriend will kick your ass if you go near her house. Divorce is more than this.
First, I think ripping apart is a proper way to describe it. There is no precise incision. It is messy, and the mess will go places you don’t expect it to go.
Second, before the divorce, you never really thought about what was there’s and what was yours. I thought we liked adventure, but it was actually me just tagging along? All those punk albums you listened to through me. That way we prepare coffee in the morning? All these small insignificant things that we thought of as us, half of them were actually them, some were us, and some could only happen with us together. Most of that is then gone and needs to be readapted willingly after divorce.
Lastly, there is the massive void when they have left. Maybe high school breakups are the same here, but let’s ignore that. There’s trying to fill that void. That person was a part of your being, and now it’s just empty. They fit so well, regardless if the whole relationship was toxic or not.
So now let’s apply this to America, looking from the perspective of a person who is not from America, and specifically as a Canadian who lives in Japan (because that is me).
First, the hopefully obvious needs to be said: no hate to any Americans (love my American friends and many of whom I consider to be my super friends are American). Pondering divorcing America doesn’t mean you can’t share nachos with Steve from San Antonio, America on Sundays. We all know Steve is a stand up guy, and probably better than we are. Hopefully he enjoys nacho Sundays with his Canadian buddy as much as we do.
Perhaps less obvious, no hate even to American decisions, at least specific to the context with what I am writing here. In the divorce metaphor, America has decided to change who they are, and that is their right. We can go along with it and try to find a way to make it work, or we can go for divorce. That is our decision and our right. Everyone has a choice. Viva freedom.
The first thing in divorcing America, is the realization about how many things are American. Anything that is normal is American. Our operating systems on our phones and computers are American. Our streaming services are American. So so much of the music and movies that we listen to and watch are American. While this is all American, it has never been thought of as such before, for it was is. As I’ve always said, Seattle is closer to Vancouver, and more culturally similar than Toronto. I’ve been to Seattle, I haven’t been to Toronto. However now, Seattle is in America, and Toronto is in Not America. (Please note I can only compare my perceptions of things when I still lived in Canada, so things may have moved on from 2005, even if I did not.)
Perhaps even before 2005, famously the most popular show on the CBC in Canada was reruns of the Simpsons. Perhaps Hockey Night in Canada was also up there, I forget now. However both are part of an identity. In elementary school after an episode of the Simpsons aired on television, we would all reference it and job about it the next day. Through divorcing America, it no longer becomes ours. It’s weird. The things that are distinctly Canadian (defined as normal to me, but not normal to an America) were not normal, but unique. Two different shades of identity.
All these cultural things, all these technological things, all of them just were normal, but that by definition made them American. So now if you look at current the changes of the American psyche, and if you decide divorce is the best option, ignoring the economic and security aspect, the void that it leaves is humongous. Once realizing what they have been for us, it’s scary to imagine something without it, and how we will have to grow to empower ourselves to make it work. Do we watch British TV now? Listen to French music?
There are also second thoughts in divorce. What if divorce is too harsh? Surely they’ll change in a few years? Surely this is just a phase? But what are the risks of believing that? Sure, they change in four years, but then in another four years it’s the same old thing. Do we have to uproot our entire lives every four years for the collective temper tantrums of a nation? They are not us, and it is their problem to fix. We can wish them the best, but surely we do not want them to drag us down with them. We need to employ some self-care, and ensure that we empower ourselves to be who we want to be. Maybe they’re giving us that chance to do that now? Maybe what we will fill this void with is something better than what was before?
Divorce is scary, and before you pull the trigger to do so, it feels like a fever dream. However, what I have learned personally is that once you pull the trigger, it is not magically over, and it feels like you have to pull that trigger over and over again every day, and it does not get easier with every pull, but if anything harder and more painful, leaving more scars, but you continue to do it because you are sure in your heart that you are worth it and that there is a better life out there.
So do we, the non-Americans of the world, divorce America? Do we quietly work towards it, hoping they don’t notice, so that we can do it in one swift motion when we’ve made ourselves empowered enough? Have that apartment secured on the other side of town first?
Or how can it have come to this? They are our normal! Why does it have to change? It was so nice before. It was so comfortable before. There was nothing wrong. This shall surely pass. Come on. This is natural. This is what we are.
As merely a mental exercise, I sometimes think about divorcing from America. It would create a huge fucking void though. What if Fugazi end their hiatus? I wanted to watch Bill Burr’s new special for fuck’s sake. I want to have a computer and phone with an operating system. Maybe an old Japanese phone? I do like British humor though, so maybe it’s not all bad.
So many American things are awesome though, thinking about it.
Klingsor's First Winter 